(66% Napa Sauvignon Blanc, 34% Lake County Semillon)
We don’t mean to shove this down your throat, but we’re gonna do it anyway. What else is versatile enough to pair with foie gras and pumpkin pie? What kicks the crap out of Dolce, Nightengale, and every other lame dessert wine from California? What tastes like real expensive Sauterne? The answer is TOPAZ. You’ll ruin the holidays without this to finish your awesome meals. Thanksgiving and Christmas just wouldn’t be as much fun without Topaz. It’s the best dessert wine west of the English Channel. Once you’ve had Topaz for the holidays, there not the same without it.

Gewurztraminer is a classic accompaniment to the Thanksgiving feast. Why would you drink French wine on an American holiday? Because they sold us a million pounds of gunpowder during the Revolution, and what could be more American than gunpowder? Maybe depleted uranium. Another reason: this wine is way better than any Gewurztraminer from America. Yet another reason: you don’t pair wine with turkey (a bland white meat), you pair it with the all the other stuff like stuffin’, gravy, cranberries, smoked fish, honey baked ham, fried turkey skin, Jell-o dishes, and that big, pink, sloppy thing your aunt always scares everyone with. I was referring to her marshmallow-Jell-o-dessert.

This extraordinary Chard is comparable to the best Chardonnays from California being most reminiscent of its famous neighbor, Peter Michael Winery. Expressive of supreme terroir and the great ‘07 vintage, with 16 year old vines and superb winemaking, Knights Bridge poses an eminent death to almost every other Chard from California. Winemaker Jeff Ames is threatened with death by beheading if he screws anything up, so you know it’s gonna be fit for a king with flavors of Fuji pears, ambrosia melon, white jasmine, virgins, and sweet cream butter. Jeff thinks it’ll age for nine years but I’m drinking mine now. This massive Chardonnay is made in a style we don’t usually go for, but it’s so undeniably wonderful and complex we couldn’t keep our pants on. That’s how you can tell when it’s really, really great. Really.

When I think about this winery the first thing that comes to mind is, “NONE SHALL PASS!” and “THEN YOU SHALL DIE!” Black, green, or horseless, you should really get some of this in your grail before the swine plague hits. Seriously though, this high dollar winery is bound to wind up with big points from Parker and the rest of ‘em real soon.
This is our favorite To Kalon Cab ever. One of the reasons we love it is because it’s not $250 or $150 like most To- Kalon Cabs. It almost always causes premature olfactory orgasm so I wear a dental dam or use a piece of Saran wrap to make it last longer. Dark purple in color, this wine gushes with blackberry, black currant, huckleberry, clove, sweet French oak, and a whiff of violet. It’ll age for eight more years, but who wants to risk dying of the black swine plague before your Cab reaches full maturity? Even if your arms and legs have been lopped off you should roll over to the phone and call us. This magical wine offers eternal youth, and miraculously heals even the most severe flesh wounds.

If you tried the 1998 Cornerstone NAPA Cabernet last month and thought it was a bit knackered, you might want to give this one a whack at your cow. And….if you thoroughly enjoyed the Cornerstone NAPA Cab then you are GONNA FREAKIN’ LOVE the 98 HOWELL MOUNTAIN Cab. If you like old Cab and weren’t cellaring wine when you were in college or on Dead tour, this is your opportunity to enjoy aged mountain Cab without paying $60 nine years ago.

This is the kind of wine that’ll make you feel like a king when you own a case. On the other hand, if you can’t even afford a half case, it’ll make you feel like a broke-alcoholic-looser-I-feel-like-I-lost-all-my-dough-in-Vegas-no-lap-dance-dribblehead-douchebag. I know the feeling. That’s what credit cards are for…..to put off looserdom until a later date. Like thirty days later according to Doris at American Express. So if you’ve got that down-and-out-I-can’t-buy-more-wine-feeling, get your credit card and say, “Fuck it, I need some O’Shaughnessy no matter what.” Don’t let economics get in the way of your true passions. And if you want to look at it from a religious perspective, money is the root of all evil and Jesus turned water into wine*. As spiritual consultants we advise that you purge yourself of that evil money and get some of this old time religion into your sinful soul. Over the last few years, O’Shaughnessy has gained the reputation as king of the hill, or mountain in this case. Luscious and concentrated, focused and balanced, this wine over delivers in every way possible. Flavors of dark, ripe, black cherry, volcanic loam, blackberry, sweet French oak, and high grade black tobacco are supported by a complex and perfectly integrated structure of fruit covered acidity, super-fine-grit tannins, and unnoticeable alcohol. Like if Moses came down from the mountain with a stack of late ‘70’s Penthouse and a Nebuchadnezzar of B.C. wine made by the Big Guy Himself, this wine can do no wrong and is ready to party now and for years to come. If you’re not a follower or believer of O’Shaughnessy, their 2006 will convert you.

Zinfandel’s Daddy in the Napa Valley, former Chief of Toy Production turned Master Winemaker Jerry “Doc” Seps used elfin’ majik to create this unbelievable wine. Always one of our top picks in any vintage, the 2006 mercilessly beats the hell out of every other Zin from the valley in this vintage. This varietal’s popularity has waned a bit in recent years, but this one will make you want to get up and scream until someone calls the cops on you. Loads of crushed raspberry and currant, black cherry, spring flowers, and a hint of the estates iron laden crushed red rock contribute to a wine that shows the very essence of Zinfandel. Powerful yet elegant, this wine will outlive many Cabs from the valley but also drinks great now. It’ll pair well with turkey, ham, goose, lamb, game, or any other holiday feast.

This one is a mindblower. If you’ve been on our mailing list for a while, you already know that we love wines from this estate, but here we can tell you without that creepy “oh shit we’re telling a lie” feeling that this is without a doubt the best wine that we’ve ever tasted from Fort Ross. Yeah, you could spend an extra thirty bucks on a bottle of Flowers that doesn’t taste as good or spend hours going over the most recent issue of BurgHound trying to find a Chambolle-Musigny that costs less than $120 or you could just call us and pick up some of this juice. This stuff tastes like the best black and boysenberry essence you’ve ever experienced, with burnt orange peel, sliced porcini mushroom, star anise, and crème de menthe thrown in for extra sex appeal. Perfect for stuffin’ in stockings. Speaking of little stockings, the new elf porn studio, “The Pole”, received loads of recognition and success with “Melfs”, “Melfs II”, & “Melf Hunter”.

Here’s the best bang for your buck since the Charbay Cab!! No shit, people. Robbie Meyer, of Peter Michael, L’Angevin, and Peirson-Meyer fame (among many others), has crafted the one of the best red blends we’ve tasted all year, and you need to buy a case or two. We poured a glass, a glass mind you, and let it sit for two days and this sucker didn’t budge. No oxidization, no funk, no bullshit. That’s a well made wine, friends. It is our understanding that Sage Vineyards was sold to Darioush winery a little while back, so a good portion of this fruit will soon be available in a much heftier bottle with a much heftier price tag. Until that happens, we’ll simply have to question both your intelligence and your palate if you don’t stock up on this stuff now. Loads of forward Cabernet flavors are made supple by the addition of Merlot and spiced up by Cab Franc, making this a blackberry and raspberry-jam infused fruit bomb with Mt. Veeder structure, a whiff of campfire, unlit cigar, Asian spices, crushed rose petal, and dried cherry. It’s so good, we could drink it all day. In fact, we have, and so should you. But you’ll have to call us first. 1 800 356-3970.

(86% Cab Sauvignon/14% Cab Franc)
The 2007 vintage is shaping up to be one of the best overall vintages for Napa Cab in over a decade. Here’s a case in point. Diana Snowden and David Ramey are the team behind this stunning Cabernet, without a doubt the best wine the Snowdens have ever produced. The points and praises critics have lauded this wine with are not gratuitous, so you can take kicking Parker and Tanzer’s asses off your holiday to-do list. Layer after layer of deep black currant, smoked plum, and ripe cherry come at you like a pissed off polar bear, while nuances of bittersweet chocolate, coffee bean, pencil shaving, and baking spice back him up like a pack of arctic foxes enjoying the spectacle of you getting torn a new one. Coincidentally, this is Santa Claus’ favorite wine of the vintage (97+ pts SC) because it tastes so good and it also happens to have the same name as the North Pole’s first Elf strip club, the Snow-Den. Built like a California Bordeaux, this beauty drinks great now but promises to age well for at least 15-20 more years. Only 700 cases made.

$165.00 each, or $465 per three-pack (one each of the above listed single vineyards)
Here’s the latest and greatest release from one of the Napa Valley’s most prolific and historic Cabernet producers. As you probably already know, Diamond Creek’s founder, the late Al Bronstein, was among the first to bring smuggled suit case clones from a First Growth Bordeaux vineyard in Paulliac and give them a loving home on the hillsides of Napa. Always big, dark, extracted, elegant, yet old fashioned in structure, the wines show massive cassis and black cherry jam, with nuances ranging from crushed stone, smoldering cedar, mountain under-brush, and dried lavender, with incredible purity and length on the finish. The 2007’s are the best this house has produced in years, and winemaker Phil Steinschriber is adept at accentuating the unique characteristics of these three vineyard blocks, creating wines of a consistent style while preserving the distinct terroir of each site. As always, these wines will age well for twenty plus years. Want to give the ultimate gift this year? Go for the DIAMOND CREEK MAGNUM 3-PACK-$1250.00

With southbound 101 being a grass gauntlet every autumn, this unattainable wine was truly smuggled down the great green pipeline, just for you.

Formerly a great deal at $45, new pricing makes this a no-brainer. Practically a giveaway at $26, even people without brains can figure this one out.

As good as it gets from Carneros and not 90 bucks.

61%Cab, 34%Merlot, 5%Petit Verdot…This is the follow up to the stellar ’06 that got 95 points from Spectator and was compared to $300 cult wines. Coho-ho-ho!

Since nobody wanted the Shafer Hillside Cab for $225 we are offering a $50 version from the vineyard on the other side of that hill.

92-94 points from Parker

This awesome kitchen-sink blend of eight red varietals tastes like $45 and makes most $25 dollar reds taste like garbage. Pairs well with everything!!

Living legends. These wines kick the crap out of most of our Cabs and still have another 10-15 years of life. Another last call on these almost mature, old vine, mountain grown Petit Sirahs. $360 for any four bottles. Extremely rare.

A Napa classic with a good dose of Howell Mtn. fruit.

130 year old vines. Truly a national treasure, you won’t find these historic flavors on Antiques Roadshow. Awesome old vine Zin.

A killer deal in the world of Sonoma Coast pinot noir.

Their best to date. HUGE!

A Groezinger favorite. Diamond Creek’s winemaker’s personal stash. Wonder where he gets the fruit?? It’s one of the best wines you could find for forty bucks. Drinkable, ageable, limited, hard to find, and downright delicious. 

Everyone likes a good deal, even Robert Parker. He called this wine “gorgeous” and “sexy”, which is what happens when you don’t get laid much and you have to put your affections towards bottles of fine wine. From an estate on the upper reaches of Spring Mountain, this Cabernet shows all the depth, elegance and power of its more expensive sibling without the required wait of ten years for drinkability. In a word, this wine says “now”. You might get hit by a bus tomorrow(especially in D.C.), so you might as well have a glass of wine redolent of cassis, cigar box, mountain sage, and mineral tonight. Do we even need to mention that this is half the price of the Philip Togni Estate?  Yeah. Seriously folks, this is one helluva deal on top-notch Cab from Spring Mountain. Bonus: It’ll age great for ten years.

This is Chardonnay with structure and integrity. Most wineries whore out their Chards by dressing them up in oak and dosing them with acid before selling them on the streets. This puritan is bright and clean, untainted by excessive oak, and promises to behave for four more years.

Valance Cabernet comes from a tiny 3 acre vineyard on lower Howell Mountain bordered by the famous Herb Lamb Vineyard. Thirty year old vines are tended to by Michael Raymor whose winemaking and vine growing experience also spans over thirty years. Only 75 to 90 cases are produced each year making this nearly impossible to find anywhere except here. Valance is aged for 22 months in the barrel and for at least two years in bottle before being released. This wine is built to last to say the least. Some children and a few pussed-out adults might find this wine too full bodied, dark, and intense for their delicate palates. When I spend good money for young Cabernet I want it to kick my ass and remind me not to touch it for five years. Most 2005 Cabs will be on there way out when this one just gets going. In the complex flavor profile you’ll find flavors of red currant, blackberry, cinnamon, cassis, spice, cedar, earth, and vanilla, all tied together seamlessly by French oak, tannin, and rock solid structure. If you think you’ll still like wonderfully aged, ten year old Cabernet in six more years then you should buy some of this now and wait six years. When this economic Ebola has been contained you will be ready to party……….with 10 year old Valance!! Just think….If you’re 40 years old and your wife just left you because you lost your job and you’re spending money on awesome Cabernet, then you’ll really need that awesome, mature Cabernet in a few years when it comes time to attract a hotter, more sophisticated & better lover that appreciates and understands your edified desires and needs.

Want some killer Syrah for a sweet price? My good buddy John Grant has been honing his winemaking skills at Turley Wine Cellars for the past ten years, escaping the arduous winery duties at any chance to go skiing, hence the name. Whether the straight line refers to how he skis down the mountain or to how he runs from the winery when it snows is yet to be determined. What we do know is that this Syrah is a killer, over-delivering for its modest price point. John said with the cost of fruit, barrels, winemaking and bottling, he ends up making about a buck a bottle when the wholesaler sells it to me. That means he used expensive fruit and barrels and isn’t charging what people who want to make money in this business usually charge for wine. If nothing else, it creates good karma and gives you the chance to enjoy an excellent California Syrah for the price of a shitty bottle of imported Shirass (yuk) or an overrated bottle of French Syralph (poop). Don’t forget to boycott those swilly imports when your country is in the shits and needs you to buy American. They don’t sell California wine in Australia, New Zealand, France or other countries so fuck ‘em. This homeland juice gushes flavors of plum, cherry, grilled meat, spice, lavender and sweet, expensive oak. This is a super-premium micro-sized production made with lots of love, sweat, beer, snow, herbs and vegetables.

Philippe Melka’s wine for fifty bucks?? It’s true. And your kids could be the first ones in your neighborhood with the premiere Chardonnay from Parallel…..

Sweet new pricing.

What?@!

This is how Sawyer describes the wine.  “Delightfully balanced between lush fruit and velvety tannins, the 2005 Estate Cabernet Sauvignon is an elegant wine that opens with intriguing aromas of wild blackberries and black currant layered with classic mocha and spice characteristics. On the palate, the dense blackberry is accompanied by cassis, and chocolate, while hints of the signature “Rutherford Dust” linger on the graceful finish. This full bodied Cabernet Sauvignon is enjoyable now and will continue to develop complexity as it ages for the next ten to twelve years.”

What?$?$?  This baby used to be $44.  Expressive of Rutherford in every way except for the price.  Take that Oakville !#$@ And….
 

What’s the best merlot in California? Probably this one. What do other wineries like Pahlmeyer, Duckhorn, or Amuse Bouche charge for their BIG merlots? Those are ninety bucks and up. Who the hell can afford that except for the lucky few who got bailed out? You don’t have to be two months late on your mortgage to benefit from this stimulus package. Estate grown on the very top of Spring Mountain, this merlot possesses magical powers that are rarely wielded by this usually humble varietal. Five years ago this was Spectator’s #1 wine in the world. I think this wine is better than the 2001, showing stronger structure, deeper extraction, better balance, and brighter fruit. This stellar vintage from Paloma is ageable for up to fifteen years. Aromas of blackberry, chocolate, and tobacco leaf foreshadow the upcoming flavor assault. The flavors are persistent and strong, leading with black fruits, spice, mineral, cocoa and a kiss of very expensive French oak. The mouthfeel is huge and almost doesn’t fit in your face. It pairs great with grilled steaks, mushrooms, lamb, braised shortribs, or almost anything meaty, fatty, and charred.

Time for a change? This wonderful Napa Valley Claret used to be $38.00 in the “good ole days”. Since “the change” is on, and we’re all movin’ on up, it’s time to celebrate with some juice you thought you’d never be able to afford. Thanks to pretend bailout money that I received in my imagination I am now able to offer you pricing never before dreamed possible. Can’t pay now? Want some wine on the front? No problem, I got your back. When every other institution of liquid is tightening up, Groezinger’s is here to help. At 1/3 the normal price, you’d be stupid to by the discounted sludge in your town when you could by my discounted, really delicious, un-sludge-like wines. This claret is a blend of 54%Cab, 25%Merlot, 12%Cab Franc, 1%PV, 1%Malbec, and 7%Syrah. It’s intended to drink now and for the next seven years which is the approximate length of a good to great depression.  The fruit comes from renowned vineyards like Jericho Canyon, Snowden, Larkmead and Hyde making this one of the best deals you could find on high-pedigree wine. Parker and Tanzer like it and said it has flavors of cassis, blackberry, dried rose petal, white pepper, cherries, underbrush, black currants, and cedar. Freaking awesome wine at rock bottom pricing.

A blend of Zinfandel, cabernet, merlot and petit verdot, this is packed with fresh scents of wild berries, both red and black. There’s density to the wine, its depth sustained by tannins that feel substantial and sweet.

Formerly weighing in at $35, I starved this champ and then beat the crap out of it till it was seven bucks cheaper. Jerry Seps is the current “godfather” of Napa Zinfandel, with over 30 vintages under his belt. This legendary vineyard was originally planted in the 1880’s and then replanted in 1976 by the Sep’s. They have some of the oldest caves in Napa (circa 1889), their estate is beautiful, and you should visit their winery if you haven’t. They also make the best Zinfandel in California. It ages better than Napa Cabernets and goes with a w i d e variety of cuisine from breakfast to bedtime. Blackberry pancakes and bacon in the morning, grilled sausages and kraut for lunch, barbequed ribs and garlic spuds for dinner, with dark chocolate all night long. It could be the only wine you’ll ever need. Storybook Mountain has been served in the Whitehouse multiple times and what could be more patriotic than drinking American wine from a varietal that is not completely native but could be if you made up a good story and lied. Now, that’s the American way. It tastes like wild, wild blackberries, blueberry concentrate, and spiced plum followed by a nice touch of whoop-ass (blood, copper, and fear) with tingling acidity and firm, fuzzy tannins.  Do you like Zin AND Cab???

Like Bordeaux, but hate the French? Also hate Canadians, for that matter? This wine is for you. Actually, if you like red wine in any facet and/or you absolutely love the French, this wine is for you also. Black in the glass and guaranteed to make your dentist love you for tooth-whitening expenses, the ’06 Mt. Eden Cab oozes blackberry and plum jam, incense, graphite, forest floor, and dried morel mushroom. If you have confidence in your longevity, you can easily lay this sucker down for ten plus years, or you could just pull the cork and party like its 1999. That was ten years ago, but we still got the funk. Sort of like the Mt. Eden Cab vines, planted in the 80’s from cuttings originating from the Martin Ray era of 1952. Still got the funk. If you have any class and/or resources left in this new economy, you’ll surely be game for some of this magnificent juice. This is the best Cabernet from Mount Eden in six years and if you’ve loved them in the past, it would be a regrettable act of stupidity to miss out on this vintage.